Indonesia's Awesome Journal: Indonesia
by Yogyakarta
Summary: Indonesia, a some kind of another awesome country with thousands of islands. But, have you wondered if he wrote a journal filled with all his politics and other problems he ever got? Or even some joyfulness about his country with his siblings, like Malaysia and Singapore? Read his journal to know more! WARNING: Male!Indonesia with some other OCs, bad english. Hetalia belongs to H.H
1. AUTHOR GUIDE

AUTHOR'S GUIDE

WARNING! Before you read this, If you're one of the Fem!Indonesia supporters I suggest you to not read this. And If you want to read some romances this isn't the right place. Or even if you think that Indonesia is a huge uke just go away. There are only comedies, comedies, and some vulgarities about the not-so-perfect country with thousand of islands, Indonesia, dear.

In this story there will be Male!Indonesia who really enjoys traveling, eating spices, chasing Korea, smoking, eating durian, etc who always fight with Malaysia (which is Male, dear) . In this book Malaysia will be some kinds of chocolate whore who can do pranks well to Indonesia.

Well, what about the shipping on deck? Singapore will take this silly role, which is why she's female. She's a total Tsundere who really likes to talk a lot to all his brothers (IndoMalayPura). She loves both business and cute things.

Info you should know:

Laos (OC, Male): He'll support the pair IndoMalay, read if you want to know why.

Timor Leste (OC, Female): She's kind of hating Indonesia. She enjoys visiting Australia as well.

Cambodia (OC, Male): He's nice.

And some cities/provinces

The real warning: There's several broken English since Indonesia can't speak English well. Vulgarities are still around.


	2. Prologue

This is, Indonesia speaking! Or writing!

Beside Thailand, Vietnam and Singapore, Malaysia and I decided to make a journal, an awesome journal; different from that lost guy Prussia does, literally, so everyone can know what we usually do everyday like the other country with no purpose! I did it first because Malaysia said number 4 is unlucky, but I knew 26 is sux! This is my book, so I'll make sure that no one will ever read or write in it except me!

There's no warnings so don't worry! **EDIT**: There's only some vulgarities so don't worry!


	3. January 1st, 2012

January 1st, 2012

I've done the best thing ever.

I've made Jakarta's place free from traffic problems! :D

Since today was a joyful new year, Everyone celebrated it including me! Last night in every single places and provinces that I have, did the same thing-held loads and loads of concert! I went to sleep at 2:00 AM (Does this remind you for something?). Last night we ate loads and loads of Durians~! Wee~! Give thanks to God, Indonesians! Because now we have more than 10 seasons!

Jakarta's celebration last night was so great! In some certain places, we met famous people, like, singing actors! (From my country, because Singapore said that no country would ever gonna perform in my concerts except me,,, and also she ment me that my country always smells bad in the new year (or a waste),,,)

I'm her big 'brothel', she (Singapore) should be grateful! I remembered that I'm the one who found her alone in a certain Island while escaping from Dutch and England, and then I took care of her for 2 months and she ran away! She corporate and imported almost all Malaysia's fatty chocolate products, but she really hate the way I'm eating my own Durians!

Am I really that sux 4 her?

I mean, Yes, I know, she's more discipline than I am, trough her place is a bit uncomfortable because of those fines (You no need to read this paragraph If you already read Singapore's journal), like, no pets, no food and drinks, no spitting, chewing gums, picking flowers, or smoking (That's the worst!). Fine: Millions of Rupiahs. Look, really, who exactly wants to urinate in the lift?

Speaking of relatives, Malaysia was having some great New Year chocolate party season on his country last Sunday night, which is sickening me, because chocolates are absolutely do not match with Durians and spices! D: oh, and also, He's still laughing at me whenever he see my face because of that AFF cup tournament. Do you still remember that cup? That shitty cup? With the lamest score '3-0' and '1-2'?

And do you know what happened to one of my soccer player? He prefers to be an averaged-talent commercial actor than fight back Malaysia's players.

Somehow, Malaysia and I are so different, even if we know the fact that we were born form the same exact ethnic. He's more popular than I am because of his chocolates, Chinese ethnics and tin cans (even trough people never know about his evil hammerspace except me and Singapore) with more of his people that prefers other sites than Facebook (Facebook is AWESOME! How dare he do that to his people blah blah blah), .

Open your eyes and see, we're brothers.

And we hate each other.

But I'm sure that one day people or even countries will definitely need me so much since I'm the one who has the most indistinct animals in the entire world, forests, islands in the south east (England gave that name to me, 'Indonesia', since he said that 'Indo' means south and 'Nesia' means Islands~! :D) and other sources in large numbers! I'm great!

Back to business.

Still, Bali owned a great beach parties at her house and she invited so many foreign tourists but when I watched the news about her place, plenty of condoms were found near the entire beaches and that'd be gross for me. Good thing I didn't invite any of foreign tourists of tourists near my party (Or maybe they're too lazy to visit me since Durians are still smelly). That's quite funny.

My party? Did I mention that I have my own party last night?

Meh, my party is hung out with my boss watching news with some Durians in my house on midnight as my provinces celebrated their own parties happily and sometimes I walked outside to join them ONE BY ONE; watching cheap fireworks, still eating Durians (You can have it anywhere :D) and dancing like strangers, singing or whatever that you usually do in your bathroom so we spent all the night as long as we wanted too!

And when I checked things on Facebook, there was about thousands of 'statuses' uploaded and quarter of them were only 3 plain words, 'Happy New Year' lol.

Back to the first sentence, all my people who lives in Jakarta were so, so tired because of my Durian party and most of them are staying at home today including me and that's why there's no traffic problem yet. As she wishes to. Well, most people in Jakarta own lots of cars and motorbikes like my other provinces (But they own the most!) so It's quiet rare watching Jakarta safe and quiet. Quiet, isn't it?

I checked Facebook once more. And then I forced myself to read Malaysia's new update since there's lots of them, haha. He wrote a quite long updates:

'_OMG! I love this year's party! Happy New Year, Everyone! Good thing, isn't it? I love all the performances I've been to, got many chocolates to eat to, so you may found some of them in front of your house, and you may take it! (Except 4 U, Indonesia… =w=) Once again, Happy New Year!'_

I don't know what happened to our heredity when we were born back then but his update was almost same as mine:

'_Oh god! I enjoy this year's party so much! HNY, People! Great thing, isn't it? I like all the concerts I've watched, and I ate too much Durians to finish to, so you may found some of their remaining in your garbage cans so I'm sorry (Except 4 U, Singapore… _) Again, HNY~!'_

I was almost writing about Laos that didn't come to anyone's party except his in my updates, but it'll make me to have to choose these options:

Chased with angers.

Be paired.

And none of them was great. I mean, why, why pair me with Malaysia is the only one way to create his own sea? I know, Laos is the only one who don't have any sea, but If I was paired with that jerk Malaysia, there'd be loads of blizzards in South East Asia, America'd be the dumpiest country ever, Russia'd be the smallest country ever, and most part of Vietnam's land would be flooded by all the melted snow, and taa-raa-!

The end of the world.

I don't want to talk about it, but still, Laos is a great country. He held a great NY party with his elephants, somehow.

I'll make this short. I'm too tired. Bye.


	4. January 17th, 2012

January 17th, 2012

My country is heated up with 2 things since 2011 back the, actually.

First, it's Korea and second, corruptions.

Korea is AWESOME.. More than Prussia, or even Facebook. Whoa, back then when I found myself stranded in the place which filled with some uninspired people/countries of music, I took a bow, turn my head 360° from left, and right, and left, and right, and my head goes on and on and on and on, I stumped my feet, thousand times, flipped back, said some bad words, float, very high, caught the stars, slept beneath the clouds, fell of, got wet, LMAOing, turn my head normally 90°, and closed my right eye.

I discovered Korea.

I didn't get any of broken necks or legs; I found an awesome country to match with.

I saw him wearing cool school uniform without any ties and belts (still cool), singing with the other Koreans, dancing with cool poses, magnificently auto-tuned their voice, with handsome face. But those are the males, because the females I found were absolutely prettier. So cute, so sparkly, so shiny, so _beautiful_….

K-pop is soooooooo ga-rayt!

I've created loads and loads of boy bands and girl bands, happily sang some certain too much auto-tuned songs, dancing some certain moves again-and again, held some concerts, with him too, learnt his languages, Made a fan book, created some magazines and booklets about him, promoted things using him, accept whatever he is even if he's gay, held vacations on his place, putted plenty of CCTVs around his place, create an article, reported in the news channels, dunce with him, learnt his languages all over the school (for certain schools and ethnic Cia-Cia lol).

And since my first discovery WAS discovered, I chase him all time.

Took photos, said 'SARANGHAEE' many times, followed him hundred times, asked his autographs, ran all to his house, hurled all the chocolates and gifts, captured great moments whenever he's in his bathroom, spied his nap time, bought all things he bought, etc,,,

I've owned lots of boy band and girl bans just like his. He's my inspiration! My TRULY inspiration! Like, OMG, He's so awesome I have many photos of him 10.000 years ago including his burnt one and bare ones! :D. Lots of my people love K-Pop and more boy bands so much, as I do! Now my memory card is ended with song by Korea itself! I love him so much, I guess!

Malaysia said that I'm too foolish for being a country that has some fanaticisms with other country by their singers and dancers, but I don't care! Moreover, Singapore said that it is ok to like anything that you like but if it isn't popular then you may be lost in the world or even placed in the last place for knowing newest information and topics.

I don't really think about that, since she spotted me yesterday watching K-Pop videos while I was chatting with some of my provinces in the middle of the X time ASEAN meeting at the same time and she was mad at me. Also, she said that K-Pops and too much provinces infected me like this and it's BAD, while Malaysia silent-hardly laughed at me, seeking mischievously. Still, I don't mind! D:

In addition, yesterday, I stalked him walking in his luxury traditional-looking apartment again, as always~!. Look, I've got so many things about him right now!

He sleeps without pillows.

He likes kimchi.

He loves his aniki (Anyone knows it?) too much.

He eats breakfast in his bedroom.

He took a bath thrice a day.

He likes math.

He is a technology expert (He owns an ability to edit his photos into a masterpiece!)

He's awesome.

He is often to hold concerts in his place.

He loves longhaired and yellow-skinned girl.

Etc.

Korea was still continuing his career now, and that proud face of yours! Holy great go K-Pops~! :D

But still, I'm not a gay person something. My Nyo version is more fanatic.

And for the second heated thing, um…

I know chameleons are only geckos who own a magic power of laser beams full of rainbows, but I think it's too bad if it happens to my governments. And it happened.

I own lots of rats (corruptors) in my house and usually they act like humans. They run and run all the way in my house, my bedroom, my bathroom, my backyard, etc, as they eat all moneys I have. It's so annoying, sometimes they went to Malaysia's house or even Singapore's, and they stay in there. That's the only thing who sickening her most besides cigarettes, and, yes.

Sometimes those rats are found in/on/above my meeting table, and that was happened in yesterday either. I came late as always with Malaysia (Who tried to blame me for the late part) and sat in a proper seat, but when I wanted to open my draw I spotted two of them. It wasn't a rare accident, really.

Last week, Singapore said that I have to buy some cats, to shoo away all my rats so they won't come again to my house again. And she laughed as I said that if all the cats became rats, what would you do?

Moreover, it happened. Again.

I did, I bought some cats, and at the first time, they were working well, but in the fourth day, I couldn't find them anywhere. And then when I checked my bed, there's something under my bed. I saw two a rather-huge rats. They're still wearing blue ribbons I've gave for them. So there's two options left, Whenether they (rats) eat the cats, or the cats had transformed into a two huge mice.

She thought that I was making some jokes for her, but when I told her that I didn't she slapped me. In a certain way. She told me that I am a useless country with those rats that can only annoy each of my neighbor country, and disappeared. I can't imagine that properly, so all I need to do is owe a magician that brought some papers in a box filled with corruptions that my boss have done, and he made all the papers disappeared.

First, the judge didn't really think that it's a magic because disappearing papers in a box for a magician contest is quite lame plus funny, but when he knew that the papers were all the corruptions happened in my country, he choose that magician as a permanent winner. It's magic! MAGIC~!

Awesome, isn't it? You can watch that show in my cigarette commercial~!

Wait, cigarettes?


	5. January 23rd, 2012

January 23rd, 2012

I'm a bit arrogant today; it's a warning.

I was still thinking about Singapore's blunt words that if I continue letting those rats breed, my country will ruined, or even disappeared.

I wasn't really sure if I get any wrong responses or what, but I think to myself that I **have** to look at all my positive side. You may think that do I really own some positive side, and if I do, what will it be? What will it looks like? Is it useful? I'll tell you all the answers below.

Nevertheless, the real question is why does people ask lots of things about my positive side, as they never know it? I mean, is it may because, I'm sux? I mean, am I really lame for being a good country so people hardly needs to search my positive side? And if most of them really do, what makes me sux? What makes people think that I'm sux without knowing things that make me sux? Am I sux 4 them? Or not? But anyways.

1. I am the country who has the most islands.

It may be easy for you to realize, but look at me! I might be the greatest country because of my islands! I have, like, 17.000 islands or even more! Take that, Malaysia! :D U.S. said that if I was lost by a huge flood and all of my islands were sunk, global warming would happen and it'd destroy the world! (But if it was Malaysia's it wouldn't) Without those islands, dude, you haven't lived! I like, totally a proud owner of Malaysia's eastern part of kingdom! And Brunei's land! And Timor Leste's big brothel!...

Speaking of Timor Leste…

You see, back then when she's still being my truly province, her work is bad, bad like a coward and that's why it's a nice idea to let her being a country herself. But, sometimes I missed her so much and all my memories when she's still nice, because she has changed now. I mean, she really hates me, she's sux! Like Malaysia and Singapore, she'd never cares about me! And somehow, she has a great interest with Australia, my other true pal, than me!.

2. The spiciest country in the whole world.

HA! No one would ever break my record-! To be honest, I do like spicy things the most of the other countries do. Malaysia said that if I ate too much spices I would have some disorders like, stomachaches, diarrhea, or even too much hawtly arousing and give Laos a step to own a sea (You know what I mean~!) and again, I do not care! I've told him that if he ate too much chocolates and sweets he would get some disorders too like, toothache, oboes or even too much sweetly arousing and support Laos's plan to own a sea! (You still know what I mean-!) Spices are great, even most of my provinces have their own spices and share to the other provinces like friends, haha. I unbearably cannot stand a day without it, and I do believe that in soviet Russia, spices love me most!

All these spices are usually reminded me of one of my province, Manado, which is the spiciest among us. Her ''balado' (ballad, sort of) is likely too spicy! She's Christian but I don't really mind that (because most of her people do too), and she's a bit energetic to serve all tourists I have since she has a beautifully miracle underwater sea. And sometimes that place makes me cry D: It's too beautiful.

3. Third country who owe some coffees to share.

I know, it is a shame to know the fact that Brazil is number one for it, but my coffees are real! I do serve some of them that priced millions of Rupiahs! I have some related coffee products, and awards to have, etc,,, I like coffee. It's a bit average but I often to wake up in the morning, slurping my instant coffee while chatting with my BlackBerry, sitting on my front yard, watching all the birds tweeting, peace (Poorly, it isn't).

I'm too proud with myself nao! [I'll continue this sheet soon. SOON]

But I think someone already warned me to not too proud for myself… It's Yogyakarta!

Kay guys, I'll write something about him since he asked me to. Yogyakarta is a patient province, and sometimes he is still smiling even when he's queuing in a line a quarter day. His speaking style is also a bit different from the others and me.

_White looking red or red looking blue, sir? _(Pink or purple?)

_Would you like some ginger cookies, ?_

_All tourists, thank you for purchase my T-shirts!_

Nevertheless, he is great at treating tourists, keeping all the old things that he found properly, museums, or even strange things also often happen in his place. In addition, back then, when I was secretly seeking his journal, I read it, and it spelled like this:

'_You and your other fiends lay down your chessboard on my sister's toys; paint all pink soldiers into purple, copying all the black charcoal around us that peculiarly changed into gold, sparkle jewels. You made many uncooked brownies, taxis and tobaccos, spread it all over it to whole place down. I don't want to live like this, because this unfairly idiosyncrasy will only make one thing left…'_

I knew nothing about it _

Ok, ok, I was still thinking about Singapore's lame words, I mean, am I useful? Oh, I'm sure I am! I mean, which place you may visit if you need some sensations of the spiciest spice in the whole world? And if you want to travel some islands at the same place/ country, where would it be? On the other hand, if you want to see some strange techniques to create a motif, where will it be?

I'll make this short, sort of, cause I'll continue this later.


	6. February 1st, 2012

February 1st, 2012

Something strange was happened.

About my cell phone.

You see, last week I was about to go to pee in Thailand's toilet for males since we were having some another ASEAN meeting _again_ in his house, But when I wanted to flush the toilet, I found my holy BlackBerry cell phone fell from my pocket, lurking in the toilet, making the sound 'wruuusssshhh', spinning round and round inside the toilet like a mixer mixing too much sugary Patisseries, rapidly sinking like a blue whale, making me cry in tragedy.

I yelled louder and louder, I mean, half of my soul was sunk in someone's toilet and it hurts! likely, I can't walk anymore above this plain world. It sounds like a big heart attack or cancer (or diarrhea) growling all around my mind. I know it is good to be curious about many things but not this time. It happened so fast I don't even know what time it was.

Well, maybe it happened too fast and now it sunk even deeper now, oh no! I need some help! All my hands are too baggy to fit the toilet itself since I ate too much imported sweets by Batam, and I ran all over the walls inside the toilet for males, shouted bad words and punched myself again and again like, _how can it possibly like this?_, spitted over the toilet paper, puked, swallowed all my recent menu and rats, peed (again), and then smashing the toilet with all my worthy powers I have at the moment. All of them, I did it all over and over, which is apparently took only for 15 seconds.

Hopefully Cambodia, who was in the next toilet for males, heard all the sounds of my screams and panics, bravely saved my phone with hands completely wet by sucking his hand on the icky toilet as he reached my cell phone(a bit gross, but he's my bravest pal. He has about 74 letters on his alphabet and that's amazing!) Therefore, I thank him million times, walk among the corridors with him, right when Bangkok was about to clean Thai's toilet which is a bit different as usual to clean to; pukes everywhere, bloods and rats and anything that may appear whenether you do all things I've done for a quarter of minutes.

But I realized that I couldn't use my cell phone anymore, since I could barely imagine how many countries who have visited Thailand's place since it's beautiful, including Americans, Asians, and most of the Europeans, queuing in his toilet (which is only 4 of them) and pee or poo or whatever in it, as I got all part of my cell phone had touched with all the part inside the toilet that doesn't seemed to be clean (Thailand owns a Toilet just for him secretly wow) which is now in my hand. Whoa, I have to wash my hands, maybe.

So few days later I decided to give it to Malaysia. Good brothers always have to show good things that the younger must do, right? (P.S. I thought that these kinds of facts were expired, but)

I've said to him that he may keep it as a purchase from me since I've putted my password in it, but when he tried to enter the password, he did it. How dare he know that my password was only '170845'?

You may read Malaysia's journal about how he wanted to search all my weakness in it and wanted to fight back, but all he got is nothing beside all my fanaticisms of Korea.

Malaysia could only spotted K-pop songs in my play list, K-pop fan groups in my twitter, K-Pop lyrics in my Facebook, Friends who loves right exactly the same thing in my BB friend list, K-Pop, K-pop, K-pop,,,

Thanx, Korea~!

And do you know what type of mobile I give to him? Canada's holy BlackBerry! (First when I bought this thing I thought It was America's so I almost made Canada angry by saying thanks to America thousand times while he could only stared at me like a moron).

OK, I've bought a new cell phone.

It's just another BlackBerry, and it's fine for me.

However, I remembered that my previous BB had my automatic password in it, and I really worried if Malaysia 'colonizes' my Facebook account so I quickly changed my password, and I did it! I was almost find myself glared by all the entire world by uploading some updates that Malaysia is awesome as Malayans are awesome, Malaysia is number ninety one, so great, powerful brave country, patiently strong, or whatever praises they are, which is still wasn't uploaded by me at all (I asked Jakarta to write all the words while she still busy with her work so no one would absolutely be able to read it or even think that I'm a too much-braver guy who praise Malaysia all time like omg, I was feeling that I wanted to swat all his guts!).

Then I uploaded loads and loads of tweets since sometimes I'm bored with Facebook in some certain times, about my exciting life and famous 'Outta my palace' singers such as K-pops or anything.

Singapore is often to suggest me to look for other social network sites around the world like slice of American TV shows on youtube or silly questions on yahoo answers or even p*rn paintings by the others, not just my pictures of my small 'n rich leaders get bare (All countries have their own dirty minds just deal with it oh puh-leeze!), but those suggestions weren't going so well because even if I had a great capability for English I'd be likely too lazy to chat with other people or countries that own different thoughts with me cause it's a little bit embarrassing for myself.

In addition, whenether you live in Indonesia, quickly please think for all the disadvantages, please.

Like, slow internets.

We have to wait long time to see some big files like photos, videos, etc. How poor. Alternatively, even one time I've ever got my modem burnt since I haven't plug out the modem for the last three days since it's a busy day. Downloading things are sux either, and so does game online. I mean, Japanese battles may quite cool, but It's too heavy for my laptop so I decided to not get addict with those anymore.


End file.
